My Mom 2.0

I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point during the last few years I have turned into my mother! It hasn't been an overnight change, I think it has been more of a slow progression. Nevertheless, I daily find myself saying things I never thought would come out of my mouth.

For years my mom has been known around our house as "Little Miss Neat" because she is constantly cleaning, talking about cleaning, or talking about how she needs to be cleaning. Despite the presence of 2 dogs and a five-year-old, her house is always meticulous. Without realizing she's doing it, she sometimes will follow you around the house cleaning up after you. You put your mostly empty glass down on the table...swoosh! Little Miss Neat whisks it off to the dishwasher. You toss something in the trashcan...swoop! Off to the big garage trash can it goes! You dry your hands on one of the bathroom hand-towels...bam! It's in the washing machine as soon as you unlock the bathroom door.

Last week mom was on vacation, so I stopped by my parent's house mid-week to make sure that my dad had clean laundry and wasn't eating bacon three meals a day. I walked in and the kitchen was COVERED in piles of mail and old newspapers, and the cabinets were COVERED in crumbs! While the KB from 5 years ago would have hardly noticed, I saw the mess and was utterly horrified! 

Before I could catch myself, I said, "DAAAAAD! How do you not see all these crumbs on the cabinet! AUGH! And why is the mail just scattered around!" I immediately walked over and took a rag to the cabinet, scrubbing the surface within an inch of it's life, and then organizing the mail in a tidy, chronological pile and tossing all of the old newspapers in the trash can. As I sighed with relief, I suddenly realized I had become Little Miss Neat...the 2nd Generation.

Then there is the 5-year-old. Every time I open my mouth to talk to him, I turn into my mother. Comments such as:

• Inside voice!
• Where is your helmet? You can't ride on your Power Wheels without your helmet! I don't care if it only goes 0.3 miles an hour.
• Skittles are not a fruit. 
• No, you can't wear your Superman cape to church.
• Say "Excuse me" when you burp! Were you raised by wolves?!
• No dessert or chocolate milk until after dinner! A GOOD dinner. There are kids out there who are so hungry they'd rather have food than toys!
• It's "Dad and me," not "me and Dad." 
• Have you eaten ANYTHING green today?

Like my mom, I have also perfected "The Look." 

One look from me can bring even the most defiant toddlers into line.             

I have also developed mom's sense of humor. Mom and I can laugh at just about anything. We can't sit together at weddings anymore...or funerals. Because, even through tears, we will somehow end up giving each other the giggles. 

The 2 times in my life I have come closest to literally almost wetting my pants were both with my mother. Once on a bus in the middle of Italy, and once in the Bryant Target where I literally had to run from the store screaming, "Don't get close to me!" because I knew if she made me laugh anymore that I would seriously pee myself. 

In other news, mom is upgrading from a Droid to an iPhone tomorrow, and Dad is getting an iPad. Let the hilarity ensue! There will most definitely be enough for a blog on THAT.