Aside from the fun of planning imaginary futures, Pinterest is also a fabulous place for recipes and DIY project ideas. Many of the Pinterest ideas are great!..but there are some that I think mean women put on there just so they can sit back and laugh at we goobs at home foolish enough to try them. Below are some of my most recent Pinterest fails.
1. "Spray wet nails with Pam and they will instantly be dry!"
I tried this at a girl's night we were having at a friend's house. I had just painted my toenails. So I took pam and sprayed the nails. Not only were they not "instantly dry", I got Pam all over the floor that I then had to clean. Then I smudged my (still wet!) nails checking to see if they were dry. As if that wasn't cringe-worthy enough, my toes were so greasy I couldn't even put my shoes back on. I slipped and slid on one slick foot and one dry foot all the way to the car. I'm sure her neighbor's thought I was trying to pimp walk. FAIL.
2. "Put coconut oil in your hair. When you wash it out your hair will be silky smooth and shiny."
After standing in my living room for half an hour, afraid to touch anything for fear of getting coconut oil on it, I took a shower and washed my hair just like the instructions said. First, my hair was NOT silky and shiny. Even after shampooing it twice it still felt kind of waxy. I thought maybe if I dried it the "silky and shiny" would kick in, so I blowed dried my hair straight. When I turned off the dryer and looked in the mirror, it looked like I'd stuck my finger in a light socket. My hair was waxy, dull, and smelled like crayons. I not only had to wear my hair up for a week, but even after 3 more washes I could not get the crayon smell out of my hair. FAIL.
3. "If you are trying to eat low-carb or if you have diabetes, try using sheets of toasted Sushi Nori as a yummy, low-carb alternative to bread. You can also eat it as a snack on its own and it will not spike blood sugar."
I should have known as soon as I pulled it out of the package that it was not going to be good. For starters, it smells like fish food. Literally, fish food. Second, no food that is that color green is ever "yummy." I convinced myself that Nori must be like broccoli. It doesn't look good or smell good, but with a little salt, pepper and cheese it's a great snack. So I took a tentative bite...there are no words to describe how quickly my gag reflex kicked in. Every instinct in my body was like, "THIS ISN'T FOOOOOOOD! GET IT OUUUUUT!" In the words of Skeeter, "It made my tongue cry." FAIL.
4. "Rub mustard oil on your legs. They will be touchably soft and the oil prevents scarring and spider veins."
Since I trip and injure myself pretty much daily, my legs have an impressive number of scars. Plus, who doesn't want to prevent spider veins? Following Pinterest's directions, after my evening shower I cracked open my newly purchased bottle of mustard oil and rubbed it all over my legs. This seems obvious, but my first reaction was, "Wow. This is really oily." Deciding it probably took a bit for the oil to absorb, I went about my nightly routine. Annoyingly, everything I touched or bumped into got marked with a greasy streak. After de-streaking my house, I decided to sit at the kitchen table and catch up on some work emails while I waited for the rest of the oil to "absorb." I hopped up in my bar-height chair and literally slid straight across and landed butt-first on the floor. It looked like I had just pulled a Bo Duke hood slide.
After my Dukes of Hazzard moment I decided to give up on having silky, scarless, spider veinless legs and take another shower. FAIL.
5. "Mix 1/4 cup of blue Listerine, 1/4 cup of vinegar, and 1/2 cup of warm water. Soak feet for 10 minutes, and when you take them out they will be soft and flip-flop ready!"
My mom is anti-pedicure. She doesn't like people touching her feet. When I saw this on Pinterest I was like, "Oh perfect! Mom could do this to get her feet summer-ready without having to get a pedicure." So I sent her the directions. Tonight I got a text from her that said, "Pinterest is wack. Blue Listerine plus vinegar plus water equals two blue feet! I'm an idiot. This worked like Easter egg dye." Sure enough, it looked like she'd been out kicking Smurfs. Whoopsie! I guess I won't be receiving that "Daughter of the Year" award this year. Sorry mom!
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