"Ma'am, we don't serve lunch until 10:30am." The McDonald's employee haughtily replied. I glanced at the dashboard clock...it was 10:28am.
"Um, okay. But I'm the only car in the drive thru...so...I guess I'll just circle around the building?"
She didn't respond. Lovely.
So I drove a slow circle around the building and ended up in the exact same spot.
"Hi. Me again. Boy's chicken nugget happy meal with a Sprite please." I said unenthusiastically. "Ma'am. Lunch isn't ready yet."
"Ooookay. Here's the thing, my kid's school serves lunch at 10:45. I agree that that is ridiculously early. More of a "brunch" really. Nevertheless, it is now 10:31 and I have a six year old waiting for me to bring nuggets." I babbled.
She sighed loud enough that I could hear it through the crappy drive thru speaker and then said, "You'll have to come inside and wait ma'am."
So help me. I circled McDonald's, AGAIN, and parked. In the 20 seconds it took me to walk from the car to the counter inside, a man came up front and changed the menu sign from breakfast to lunch (it turns with a hand crank, in case you're curious).
Praise the Lord! "Hi, I need a boy's chicken nugget happy meal with a Sprite please."
"No problem ma'am! Can I get anything else for you?"
Hungry at this point, I said, "Yes actually. Just a 10 piece order of nuggets for me." I got my debit card out, ready to swipe.
"You should really get the 20 piece."
"Sorry?" I asked, confused.
"You should really get the 20 piece. It's only $1.00 more and you get 10 extra nuggets."
"Oh, thanks I'm fine with 10." I put my debit card up to the swiper and stared at him expectantly.
"But ma'am, the 20 piece is such a good deal. And then you'll have TWENTY nuggets! It wouldn't hurt you to eat 20 nuggets."
Er...was that a compliment? I feel like it was a Napoleon Dynamite style compliment.
I checked my phone, 10:38. "Nope. Thanks. I really just need the 10 piece and the happy meal. Really!"
"Okay, if you're sure."
Finally, he gave me my total and I swiped my card. I've never been so thrilled to pay for something IN. MY. LIFE.
As soon as it was ready I grabbed the food and ran to the car. I flew to school and walked into the front office with my head held high. Look at me, a woman who has it all together. Cute shirt on. Cute hair. Lunch for her kid. And I'd made it to school by 10:44. #rockingatlife
After checking in I walked to the cafeteria and watched as Skeeter lit up. He looked kind of smug as he asked to his class to clear a space on the bench for me. I sat beside him and began unpacking his nuggets and apples.
"Nuggets huh?" Said the cute little girl across the table from us.
"Yes, I usually bring him lunch on Fridays because it is my day off of work." I smiled at her.
She began to unpack HER lunch. The first container held...a salad. Container number two held carrot sticks and a small cup of homemade greek yogurt dip. Container number three held literally less than a tablespoon of shredded cheese which she sprinkled on her salad with a flourish. As she opened the final container she exclaimed, "Oh goody! Broccoli!" and started biting the raw broccoli with excitement. I looked at Skeeter eating his nuggets and then back to her.
Suddenly the nuggets and apples didn't look like good parenting at all. Suddenly the happy meal I'd worked so hard for looked like failure and regret! Suddenly I realized what a horrible person I was!
How on earth did this kid's mom get her to eat salad and carrot sticks?!? And BROCCOLI! Skeeter eats more veggies than he thinks he does, but only because I blend them up and sneak them into his food all the time. Like a vegetable ninja. But if I try to make him eat an outright piece of broccoli his reaction is like:
So there I sat, munching on my nuggets of shame. Wishing I'd gotten ice cream or maybe that 20 piece because depressed-eating 10 nuggets just isn't enough.
